How To Stop Punishing Yourself For Not Following Through

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Have you ever felt that when life happens in a different way than expected, you have to change your plans against your will? You end up not doing what you said you would and it feels terrible.
 
I have felt that way recently. I had to change my plans.
 
I had planned to release the first Episode of Season 2 of DivineEssence podcast in early June, but life happened, and it became clear to me that the first episode of the new season couldn’t be live by the date I had planned for. I was guided to change the date to a month later.
 
As the days went by approaching the originally planned episode release date, I caught myself feeling uncomfortable about not doing what I said I would. It was subtle, but I was criticizing myself for it:

“I’m not honoring my word,” “Am I disappointing people?”, “I should have planned this better. Could I have prevented this from happening?” 

When we have committed to something that matters to us, or we have made a promise to someone, not being able to do what we committed to can bring up all kinds of feelings.

We may feel guilty, ashamed, or it may trigger self-doubt or fear of being judged. The more we criticize ourselves, the initial subtle discomfort can grow and become more and more hurtful.

If we don’t acknowledge that we’re not treating ourselves with the kindness and love that we deserve and do something about it to stop this unhealthy inner dialogue we end up beating ourselves up. We hurt ourselves.


The Process:

Here is the process I followed to stop judging myself so that you can stop self-judgment on its tracks too.

Think about this:

Remember that your plan may have served a purpose when you came up with it, but it may no longer be in alignment with you and everyone involved.

But, maybe from where you stand, you just couldn’t see that. We often don’t.

Fortunately, the divine creative energy of the universe rearranges everything according to the divine plan for the best possible outcome.

This may not be obvious to you at the time.

This is when you need to stand in faith trusting in the perfect unfolding of things.

Ask yourself:

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Is what I have planned what will result in the best possible outcome? Any other outcome wouldn’t be nearly as satisfactory? If you answer Yes to those questions, you’re most likely attached to your plan.

Only when we become attached to our own plans and make it all about ourselves and what we want, we end up hurting ourselves. We become rigid in our thoughts and the belief that if things don’t go our way, the way we planned them, any change of events will lead to a negative outcome.

The truth is that there is always more than one path to a positive outcome and many positive outcomes beyond the one we want.

Being attached to our plans means we don’t leave room for the unexpected magic of life to surprise us. Inadvertently, we block the flow of life and create unnecessary harm and suffering for ourselves.


But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Having to change MY plans to allow for the DIVINE plan to unfold is always a humbling experience.

In the process, I come in touch with my imperfect human nature:

The reality that my vision of life and my physical mind are limited by so many variables because of my human experience.

I surrender to the reality that I don’t have total control of my life (and I wouldn’t want to) as it is a co-creation with Divine Spirit. 

I remember, every time that I am not here by myself in isolation.

I am part of a soul family community.

I am part of something greater!

And belonging to the greater whole requires being flexible and continuously tuning in to listen to divine guidance to remain in harmonious flow with life not only for my own good but for the highest good of all involved.

By allowing yourself to change your plans gracefully without going into harsh self-criticism, shame and other forms of emotional self-harm you are contributing to your own happiness, to your ability to serve, and to the highest good of all. You are making yourself available for the divine plan to unfold through you.

Q'orianka